Torn-Up in Tampa

Dear Jim,

I’m really struggling today and wasn’t sure what to do. My boyfriend and I are expecting our first baby, and we’re both really excited about it. We both currently work in an Amazon warehouse, but it’s really starting to wear me down at almost 30 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend is super supportive and we have toyed with the idea of me being a stay-at-home mom after our little girl arrives. 

Here’s the problem, though: we were having a conversation, and I may have eluded to the fact that I don’t trust him to support the three of us on just his income. I think I really hurt his feelings. The thing is, it isn’t even really him that I don’t trust, but it’s that I’m not used to having to rely on anyone financially. We don’t have a joint bank account, we each pay our own bills, and we rarely discuss finances. So, I know his feelings were hurt, but I don’t know what to do next. Please help.


Torn-Up in Tampa


Dear Torn-Up,

Thank you for writing in, and congratulations on your pregnancy. I’d like to answer your question about what to do by sharing a story about the time I had to call a Tampa personal injury lawyer

I was visiting Tampa with my daughter and my bulldog, Gus. We were walking along the water and passed a group of kids. The kids all wanted to pet Gus and he ended up biting one of them in the hand. It wasn’t a serious bite, but just to be sure, I took a free consultation with the lawyer so I knew what could happen. 

The next day, I called the child’s mom to check-in and see how the kid was doing. I asked her if I could stop by (alone this time) to apologize to the child in person. She gave me her address and I picked up some action figures, sidewalk chalk, bubbles, and other toys I thought he might enjoy. I told both the mom and the son how sorry I was and I offered to pay for a check-up at the doctor if she needed it. She declined, but I gave her my number just in case.

How does this relate to your case? 

It’s important that you apologize to your boyfriend for hurting his feelings. You need to be open with him and let him know why you said what you said. It may also be a good idea to have a discussion about finances if you are living together and raising a child together. Honesty and openness are the best policies in a happy, healthy relationship.

Take care,